Sunday, October 30, 2005

Pumpkins

Late one night, police arrested , a young man caught in a pumpkin patch . He was charged with public indecency, lewd behavior, and public intoxication, and told to appear at the County Courthouse on the following Monday. When he came before the judge, he began to tell his story. He stated that as he was driving by a pumpkin patch, when he thought he saw a pumpkin smiling at him, and decided to stop.
" I got to thinking ,you know, that a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and...well there was no one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't" he told the judge.
The man went on to say, that he pulled over to the side of the road, found said pumpkin , cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his male urges.
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?", he commented ,with obvious embarrassment.
In the process, he had apparently failed to notice the police car approaching, and was unaware of his audience until the officer approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure" said the officer ."I walked up to him, and he's...just humping away , at this pumpkin."
The officer went on to describe what happened when he approached the man.
"Well, your honor, I just went up to him and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are fucking a pumpkin?? He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin!? Damn...is it midnight already?'"
Even the judge couldn't help laughing.

13 comments:

Jillian said...

LOL!!!

Happy Halloween!!!!

NewYorkMoments said...

Thanks for the smile, badgerbob.

badgerbob said...

Thanks, and happy halloween to y'all.

drunkbh said...

Ha Ha Ha!

Unknown said...

If you could choose between gerbiling and pumpkining, which would you opt for?

badgerbob said...

Neither, I am against the use of animals in sexual acts, unless I am invited, And the pumpkin is a spiritual icon in the badger community.

morbid misanthrope said...

I hope they disposed of the violated pumpkin appropriately. Otherwise, come Thanksgiving, someone is going to get a really shitty pumpkin pie.

badgerbob said...

Morb, that's a very twisted thought, albeit a funy one.

Hula, your welcome

badgerbob said...

Willow, can I bake you a pumpkin pie?

morbid misanthrope said...

Isn't it interesting how pyre rhymes with fire?

badgerbob said...

Blame the Asians. Although, how they pronounce the R is a mystery to me.

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