One night, after watching a Monday night football game, an elderly couple retired to their bedroom. After laying in bed for a few minutes, the old man suddenly farted, chuckled, and said, "Seven Points."
His wife rolled over and exclaimed, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football!"
Disgusted by the smell, but not to be outdone,a few minutes later his wife let one go and said - "Touchdown, tie score!"
After about five minutes the old man farted again and said - "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"
His wife , tried and tried, and finally wife ripped another one and said, "Touchdown, tie score!" Five seconds passed and she suddenly let out a squeaker and said "Hah! Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!"
Now the pressure was on, and the old man was not about to be bested by his wife, so he strained as hard as he could, but to no avail. His wife seeing this effort, snickered, and at that moment, he realized that defeat was totally unacceptable. So he tried again, giving it everything he had, but instead of farting he accidently shit the bed.
His wife looked strangely at him and said, "What the heck just happened?"
The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"
17 comments:
Touchdowns alone are only worth 6 points. The sqeakers should be the extra point at the end. Oh, and it looks like you have hit the big time; you've got spammers leaving comments! Time to make us enter squiggly letters.
LMFAO!!!!!!
Girl, I refuse to put verification on this site, because I absolutely despise it. It ranks right up there with people who censor their comments. If you can't take a little bit of personal criticism, then don't put your shit out there for all the world to read. It really irks me when I leave a creatively, negative post on someone's site, and they delete it. Why are people so vain?
Why is the sky blue? Why does it have to be so hard to read those squiggly letters? And where there used to be only four, now there are eight.
As for the touchdown points, I was using the badger rules point scoring system. Sorry for any confusion.
Bh, laying my fucking assistant off ???
Wow, you must be a tough boss. Better duck your head, Wilma's headed your way.
You don't know shit from shinola about football Bob! Stick to crappy jokes but don't quit your day job.
..."Stick to crappy jokes but don't quit your day job"...
Dear john, you are a moron. You probably know your shit from shinola because you eat a ton of crap.
That so called-literary comment that you left doesn't make a lick of sense. You don't even have a clue as to what my job is!
But please feel free to come back and visit, because stupid people are entitled to have a laugh, just like anyone else.
sharting is funny.
The Madden bus is going to ride right over you bob.
Old people and farts. Funny combo.
What don't you understand about my comment? I presume you have a job probably a day job but you should not quit it because you could not make a career out of your crappy jokes. Simple enough for you Bob.
And yes I like to eat as I drive around the country on my bus. Jealous?
John, I refuse to get into a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Ilove this one too!!!!
That would have been even funnier if instead of shitting the bed, the old man's head blew up, and his wife felt so guilty, she hanged herself in the closet.
Jill, thanks.
Morb,you're right. That is pretty funny. I should have consulted you before press time.
For some reason, most people don't seem to think that version of the joke is very funny. I guess their collective sense of humor is broken or somehow inferior to mine.
Bob, I hear ya on the word verification thing, I've been thinking about getting rid of mine, mostly cuz I can't seem to get right in the first two tries.. even on my own blog !
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