Friday, November 18, 2005

The Woods Of Arkansas

While hiking through the woods one day, a tourist came upon a man, who was hugging a tree, with his ear pressed firmly against it.
He asked, "Just out of curiosity, what the hell are you doing?"
"I'm listening to the music of this tree. It's a local custom."
"You've gotta be kidding me", said the tourist.
The local replied, "No, not at all! Would you like to give it a try?"
"Well, this is really stupid, but..., okay .." So he wrapped his arms around the tree, and pressed his ear up against it. Immediately, the local slapped a set of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, his jewelry and his car keys. Then stripped him naked, and sauntered away.
Two hours later, another man strolled by, saw the tourist handcuffed to the tree and asked, "What the hell happened to you?"
The tourist told the story of how he had been taken advantage of, by the local. While he recounted his tale, the newcomer shook his head in sympathy. When the tourist finished talking, the man walked around behind him, kissed him behind the ear and said,
"This just isn't your day, is it, Sugar!"

11 comments:

NewYorkMoments said...

Hmmm...That guy's just assuming that "Sugar" isn't going to like it...

drunkbh said...

HEY!!!!! I thought Arkansas was going to involve some type of pig beastiality. You got my hopes up and them crushed them.

NewYorkMoments said...

No, drunkbh...It was goats, not pigs.

badgerbob said...

Sorry to disappoint you ladies. However, in my defense, I am a male, and you have to expect that sort of behavior from us.

NewYorkMoments said...

Which sort of behavior? Being tied to a tree and sodomized by strangers?

badgerbob said...

Uh! No...The kind, where we consistantly under-achieve the lofty expectations, burdened upon us,such as telling the truth, showing up on time, being thoughtful, keeping a steady job, not kicking your pets when you're out of the room, etc,etc, etc.
But your questions made me laugh. Very witty.

NewYorkMoments said...

Well DUH....We knew THAT.

Networkchic said...

I'm hearing bango music playing in the background.

morbid misanthrope said...

If the tourist hand his arms handcuffed around the tree, how the hell did the guy take his shirt off. And don't say he tore it off because robbing someone is one thing, but tearing a perfectly good shirt is just senseless.

badgerbob said...

Chic, I'm glad I left out the part about squealing like a pig.

Morb, food for thought. OK.Done.

J C said...

that's a shame