Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Hump Day Poems From the Heartless Badger

I have been challenged by this person,(freak) who is like a sharp thorn in my paw, to declare this week as poetry week, and only post poems. I hate fucking poetry! If there is no explicit sex, violence, or witty dialogue in the first stanza, it's off to the bonfire for a small flare-up and a marshmallow. I received this challenge today, which to say the least, is a little strange, because, Hello! It's already midweek. I guess the tree calendar week is a little different than ours.
Anyhow, in the spirit of Hump Day, and in the interest of being a good sport, which in all honesty, I could give a hoot about , I have decided to go along with this strange request.
So I present to you, three short poems.

I had a small pain in my head.
I went to my doctor, with dread.
He gave me a pill, then sent me his bill.
I would have been better off dead

One time at my job, where I strip
My pants shrunk, and wouldn't unzip
When the hot-blooded throng, yelled to ogle my thong
I fended them off, with my whip.

There once was a badger named Bob, who's balls were so blue they would throb, then along came a blogger, who said, "Hey, it's no bother", and relieved him, by rubbing his knob

14 comments:

morbid misanthrope said...

Finally some poetry an intellectual like me can enjoy. Up yours Maya Angelou!

NewYorkMoments said...

Badgerbob, I always knew you were a romantic poet at heart!

badgerbob said...

Uggh! Obviously I did not make myself clear. I would rather chew my leg off, than have to listen to a poetry recital.

NewYorkMoments said...

Well, strictly speaking limericks aren't really poetry. Especially when they're lewd.

Hickory Dickory Dock, a straight guy sucked a cock, he swallowed some cum, took a dick up his bum, and his cock got as hard as a rock.

badgerbob said...

Hey nym, that's pretty funny. Bravo!

badgerbob said...

Right back at ya Nym.

There was a young man from Rangoon,
Whose farts could be heard to the moon.
When you'd least expect 'em,
They'd burst from his rectum
With the force of a raging typhoon

NewYorkMoments said...

That made me giggle!

There once was a boy named Dan
Who jerked off all day with his hand
He rubbed it all day
Till he felt really gay
And thought it was all really grand

Steven said...

Little Jack Horner
Crouched in a corner
Humping his girlfriend dry
Stuck in his pinky
Pulled out some stinky
And said Gee this is better than pie

badgerbob said...

good one Steven!
Here's another!

There was a young lady of Arden,
Who sucked off ol' Bob in the garden.
He asked, "You old ho' ,
Where does all that stuff go?"
And she said, swallowing hard,"Beg your pardon?"

badgerbob said...

willow, I refuse to get into a battle of wits with a tree.

drunkbh said...

Keep em' coming. These are great.

morbid misanthrope said...

There once was a woman named Sutton,
Who played night and day with her button.
When asked why she did,
She mentioned her id,
And confessed to just being a glutton.

That one is educational. I had to go to college to learn about the id when I should've just traded filthy limericks with the other drunks.

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