Badgerbob's Surefire Method For Raising Delinquents

1. As an infant, begin to give him everything he wants. This will help him grow to believe that the world owes him a living.
2. When he begins to lie and swear, laugh and encourage him.
3. Never tell him that he is wrong. This could lead to developing a guilt complex, and later when he's up on felony charges, make him feel that society is persecuting him.
4. Pick up everything he leaves lying around. This will help condition him to expect others, including future wives, to continue doing this.
5. Let him read and watch anything he wants . A healthy mind is such a waste.
6. Quarrel frequently and throw blame around. This will help him to later deal with married life, and the ensuing divorce.
7. Make sure he never has to earn his own money, and see that his every whim is taken care of. Denial and responsibility could lead to frustration, and prozac.
8. Take his side in all disputes. This way he can play the prejudice card later in life.
9. When he gets into serious trouble, never blame him, and always apologize for yourself. Afterall, he is your child!
10. Sit back and enjoy your l'il monster.