An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: ordering three pints and drinking them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. It's me. I've just quit drinking."
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8 comments:
Ah..Irish humor. Such jokes always bring a smile and brighten up my day. Did you hear about the Iriah lady trying to bring some "holy water" past the customs? :)
That's just stupid, Badgerbob. Everyone knows all Irish men are drunks and would never stop drinking. Duh.
bayi, I would like to hear that joke.
willow, how judgemental of you! Let's change that to, how mental of you.
nym,ouch! My irish ancestors are turning over in their graves at such a slight. Me being the ever insensitive descendant, raise my glass and toast you.
Bob
I am just a couple of hours away from a trip to Thailand. Will let you hear the story when I am back. No bringing a laptop with me this time and will abstain from cyber cafes.
Do let me have an e-mail address if you can and I will mail some jokes to you to consider posting.
You can reach me at bayiyap@hotmail.com.
Damn. If I were Irish and had forty-five brothers, I could quit drinking, too.
Bayi, will do. Are you going to smoke some thai- stick, on your vacation?
If you do , it's probably best not to inhale. This gives you deniability, and you can always blame second handsmoke, for any weird acts you commit.
Morb, you would also have yourself a hell of a time remembering all of their names.
An old sprightly Irish lady returned home after a vacation overseas. At the airport, she was trying to get past the customs when she was asked, "Do you have anything to declare?" "Well, no. Not really."
The Customs Officer looked through her baggage and saw two large unlabeled bottles of clear liquid. "And what do we have here?" he asked.
"Oh, holy water. I was on a pilgrimage and took back some holy water."
The Customs Officer opened one of the bottles and sniffed its contents. His face grimaced and he said, "Doesn't smell like water to me. It fact, it smells like liquor!"
The old lady hesitated and took the bottle from the officer's hand. She sniffed at the contents and then took a swig. "Hallelujah!" she exclaimed. "It's a miracle! The good Lord has shown me a miracle!"
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