A blonde was ordering a pizza, and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
The blonde replied, "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out and shuts the horse off.
10 comments:
Badgerbob, I should spank you!
Wow! That's what I was just thinking, too.
It's those badgervibes....
It's funny because blondes are notorious for being stupid.
Morb, personally, I am a big fan of blondes. I just happen to find the stupid ones, amusing.
Willow, the badger mistakenly deleted it, before realizing that it was you, pretending to be a spammer.
Nice job willow, it was very creative, in a lying, deceitful, kind of way.
Here's one for the blondes. They don't always lose, you know. :)
Lawyer & Blonde
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight From LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now some what agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!"figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end tothis torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his coworker and friends. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
But then...
Follow The Boss
There are three ladies working in the same office. They begin to notice that each day the boss, who is also a female, leaves work early. One day they decide that once the boss takes off they are gonna be rightbehind her, after all she never comes back or calls so how would she know.
So, they all three leave and the brunette was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting her dinner date. The redhead was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.
The blonde was happy, happy, happy, to be home. But when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracks open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!
Ever so gently she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again and asked the blonde if she wanted to go with them.
"NO WAY!!" The blonde exclaimed, "I damn near got caught yesterday!
And this...
A Blonde
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
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