A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
16 comments:
Absolutely amazing...loved that one! Is that your's? You need to spread the word for this one...
peace
Okay, that's it for you Badger. I plan to nail (with environmentally approved nails, of course) your nasty hide to a willow tree ... translated that means that I plan to sue your lazy ass for slander.
which begs, what is your occupation, badger?
Baby, I am a creature of the night. I am a procurement specialist. I do what need doing, and I aquire who or what needs to be aquired for individuals who shall remain nameless. Usually the stuff that nobody really wants to acknowledge. The investment banking industry is a cesspool of humanity .
I don't hang out with the people I work for, and with, and I can't post about my job, hence the jokes. Blogging is fun and keeps me sane.
...Or...I could be an unemployed 12 year old who sits at the computer when mom and dad aren't at home.
Well, you'd be the MOST articulate 12 year old ever, if that was the case. And this answer seems to add to your mystery, not take away.
btw, I posted a mild ghost story several posts ago if you are interested.
Actually I think I've discovered who the sneaky badger is...he's that loser in the basement peeking through the keyhole hoping that someone will walk by in a short skirt.
Just kidding Badger!
Baby ,I love it when someone uses dirty words, like articulate. It gets me all warm and makes me wish that someone would walk by wearing a short skirt.
Watch out or we're gonna call you basementbob instead.
If I could get my hands on your scrawny neck you weasel you would never post another blog.
If I could get my hands on your scrawny neck you weasel you would never post another blog.
Good to know! Now, all I have to do is marry a lawyer or a stamp collector.
Baby, you may call me anything you like.
flee , this weasel may be scruffy and smelly, but he is definately not scrawny. The thought of some geeky-ass soda-jerk wanting to put his hands around my neck is pretty funny.
Should I repeat myself ,so that you can understand me?
I guess it's time for more lawyer jokes.
Drunkbh, I highly recommend rodents. Highly unpredictable,evil tempered,but very loyal.
Goddamn stamp collectors get all the pussy...
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