Sunday, September 18, 2005

The Stop Sign

A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver's window, and asked the man if he knew why he was being pulled over.
"No," the man replied.
"You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained.
"But I did slow down!" the guy argued.
The cop shook his head,and said, "You are required to stop. That's why they're called stop signs."
The man began to get belligerent, and said, "Stop!slow down! -- what's the difference?"
The cop pulled out his baton. "here, let me can show you. I'm going to start beating you over the head, with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down."

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Badgerbob, I came into my office today to get some work done when the phones were not ringing off the hooks and everyone bothering me and I am sitting here laughing at all your jokes. You are Outstanding! Do you make these up or where do you come up with them? You don't have to answer that but seriously I asked you on "O"'s blog but I thought I would come over here. Do you have any advice for dealing with Arrogant Lawyers. I was going to use some rather not nice language but not knowing you I thought I would bite my tongue. There is this one guy who is really nice which is great for working with but scares me sometimes because he is nice. Typically would investment bankers be friends with the lawyers they are dealing with? Any advice would be appreciated.

Anonymous said...

Badgerbob, I hope two comments in one afternoon will not be considered too many! I have another question for you. Now realizing that you are a Man, perhaps you will agree with all the other men on this one but I am asking you this question because not knowing anything to do with the deal I feel you will at least be objective. First let me say I own my own business with a Male Partner, we get along great and we complement each other well in the business. Men tend to always say "It's not Personal It's Business". Now I am guessing more than likely you will agree with the other men but as you are objective to the situations I would just like your opinion, if you don't mind. The business is PERSONAL to me and EVERY ASPECT of the business is PERSONAL to me. I feel like it is part of the fabric of who I am. It really annoys me when lawyers or other businessmen say "It's not Personal It's Business" maybe if you don't own your own business I can see it is not Personal but when you own a business it is PERSONAL. This is a very small part of everything going on but it annoys me and I am just wondering if you can see my point if you would have a good funny comeback for me. I try and use humor to get through everything but some people are not up for humor and I for one feel humor gets me through each day. Having read some of your site I have to believe you are somewhat like me in your feelings towards humor with all the jokes. One lawyer in particular I actually like but he annoys me so much because he thinks I take everything to personally . Life is Personal and this is a part of Life. You seem like a funny guy and being that you are in the Investment Banking field I feel like you probably have a really good feel for the kind of men I am dealing with so if it is not too much to ask could you just give me a little advice here and a funny comeback.
Thank you. I see your "About Me" says you are somewhere Out West. Have you ever been to "Big Sur" that is one of the most beautiful places I have ever experienced!!!!!!!

badgerbob said...

Anon, you can leave as many comments as you like, and not nice language is highly endorsed here.
In my life experiences, I have always found it to be personal first, and business second. I think it is human nature for most people to wonder how they will be affected by their decisions, and unfortunately most people pick what is in their own best interests. Saying, "It's just business" usually helps the person saying it ease their conscience.
Guys are no different than gals. They just lie more. Although,I must say, some of my closest female aquaintances are exceptionally capable liars.
I responded to your questions on "o"'s site before coming here. She is probably going to bar me.
Oops,Gotta go, mom's coming.

Anonymous said...

After reading that Badgers were nocturnal, burrowing creatures, not known for their high intelligence or superior smarts; I was quite surprised to drop in on your blog and see that you are now dispensing advice.

Surprised and horrified!

badgerbob said...

Willow, I have learned to exist among you daywalkers.

Anonymous said...

What was that about lying a lot!!!!!You impossible sneaky imposter.

Anonymous said...

Badgerbob, thanks for taking the time and for dispensing the advice which I am grateful to receive. This is the biggest deal of my life and I have learned more over the course of the last year than in all the previous years combined. Mainly, I have learned I don't want to deal with any arrogant assholes for the rest of my life. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate knowing that a MAN actually feels. Personal first and business Second. As I said LIFE is personal. I so much would like to tell these jackwipes what I think of them but I know it is not in my best interest to do so. I think the thing that kills me the most is they really don't see what moronic fools they are looking down from their Godliness! I would just love to hear them talking amongst themselves with all their "Big" words about how great they are but you know I have now come to know half the time they really don't even know what they are talking about. thanks again.
the bankers I have dealt with seem to be really great guys brilliant without being arrogant. For me personally I have never had the experience of dealing with an arrogant asshole banker so Mr. Badgerbob Bankers are a whole different breed - right ? A Good Breed!!!!!!!!
I want so badly to tell the Viagara Lawyer joke - What happens when you give a lawyer Viagara - He Grows Taller. Waiting for your next joke. Have you been to Big Sur?

drunkbh said...

All men need to learn the difference between stop and slow down.

babyjewels said...

Dirty Blonde beat me to it - damn it. Good one Badger

morbid misanthrope said...

Sometimes I wish I was a cop; of course they aren't legally allowed to be brutal enough. Maybe I'll grow a mullet and become a bounty hunter.

badgerbob said...

I believe the name dog is taken, so you're going to need a handle.

morbid misanthrope said...

Maybe if I spelled Dog "Dawgg" I could get away with it. Or maybe I could be viper, or ripper, or Satan, or something cool like that.

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