Sunday, September 25, 2005
Advice
Due to the overwhelming volume of e-mail, since last weekend,(Okay,One person. But it's a start!), the sneaky badger has decided to put his worldly lack of knowledge about women to good use. This week will be spent offering relationship advice to any who ask? Jokes will resume next week, unless I am horribly mutilated by someone who seeks me out, due to bad advice. As per usual, except when I am working, I take no responsibility for anything I say or do.
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36 comments:
My friend is anal retentive and has a small dick. He bitches and moans and masturbates so much that he falls asleep during the hockey games. The guy is fucked and needs some help!
Vic, you could always throw him down the stairs first, and then ask him for a date.
If he accepts, your suspicions were correct.
Dr.Rev- get a stick and a puck and back away about 10 paces. When he nods off, I recommend a slapshot to the head. Works great on a tile floor. This will bring gritty realism to the game watching experience, and may help his problem.
I find it odd that you know his dick size?? Is there an explanation for this, other than the obvious??
Willow, thanks for those generous words of encouragement.
As for the penis question. I think that any man who would answer yes, needs to be thrown down a flight of stairs.
I got all excited when I heard no jokes this week. But, alas, the joke is on us as any advice you give I would consider to be in the joke catagory!!!
Sorry for the delay in my help, but I was out beating someone up. I like to call it constructive counseling.
Armaedes- There will be no wedding. Ten seconds should have been ample time for willow to make a decision. The fact that she has never met me is of no consequence. Her answer was a definate no, and that's putting it nicely. But thanks for your concern. I see that you didn't get carried off by a twister, so I guess there will be no tales of scarecrows and tin men.
Pee detty-you are so right. My whole blog existence is one big joke, and there is no punch-line. Maybe you can offer me some good advice? :-)
I read that if a woman gives you a hard time, it is perfectly legal to beat her with a tree branch. Is this true?
Also, women are now legally able to vote. When the fuck did that happen?
This badger does not believe in violence of any kind towards women, but there are others in the rodent community who feel differently. After consulting some of my redneck acquaintances, I have learned that this is a common practice among them, and they tell me that a willow branch is best.
As for your second question, I was not aware of this. None of the ladies I know ever mention politics around me. According to statistics, they will soon have us outnumbered. Oddly enough, that appeals to me.
Relationship advice, huh? Fine I've got one for you. What exactly defines a relationship? What level must it be at to be considered a relationship?
Will the real vic, please stand up...please stand up.
Seriously people, let's not pretend to be other people. Malicious stuff should be aimed at me, and not my readers.
Willow, are you making a pass at me?
Bh, the big head is telling me that a relationship is a close friendship between two people, which may or may not include sex. The little head just keeps saying sex,sex,sex!
It can be upright, supine, upside down, up in a tree, or in a backseat, or if rover doesn't mind ,in a doghouse. We were talking about sexual levels right? Or did I wander off topic here?
What's a Mofo?
It stands for motherf*cker.
I like this new format. I'll have to think of a good question.
I think you pretty much got the point of my question.
Vic,I can't be held responsible for someone playing games with your name and site, and I have never fucked your mother, or anyones elses for that matter. I would prefer not to know your dick size, and yes you do have a hot boss.
Baby, I aim to please!
Note the sexual overtones.
Bh,that's good . I like to get right to the point, and then stay there for awhile ,prolonging the enjoyment.
Badger, you seem particularly randy today. Everything OK?
Yeah, I'm ok! Must have been that unusually high tide last night. Full moons also have that effect on me.
Thanks for asking.
Ok, Badger, I have a question. Say you are a girl (of ample breasts) at a bar and you strike up conversation with a nice guy. You talk for about an hour. It's pleasant, mildly flirty. Your friends call you over and tell you they have decided to leave so you walk back to cute guy and tell him you must go, but that it was nice to meet him. As you are shaking his hand, he says, "Do you want to give me your phone number?" You think about it and decide you DO, so you give it to him and then say, "Yeah, give me a call; we'll get some coffee." Why, dear sweet Badger, does he then not call?
i think that babyjewels chick has great breasts i'll drop my pants if you get naked for me baby
Dear girl, I could give you at least 5 different answers for this one. I will go with this one for now. Because you said he was a nice guy, and he asked for your number, I am going to assume that he was drinking. Alcohol makes lots of nice guys less shy, and more outgoing around members of the opposite sex. The next day, when the alcohol wore off, his possible insecurity,and fear of rejection kept him from calling. If he had too much to drink,( and sometimes you can't tell), then he may have forgotten who you were or what you looked like, which both amount to the same thing. No call.
There are different reasons for different situations.
Willow, ouch! Definately some strong feelings there.
Vic, I thought you said you had a big dick? OR is this the imposter again. Get your own name dude.
Sicko, well your sick, but I guess so am I, cause I kinda wondered about that too. No disrespect intended baby. Hey sicko, is it true that scientologists are into self-strangulation while having sex?
Holy shit! The comment section is in a downward spiral of insults and mud-slinging. Where have all the sane people gone?
Sorry , I forgot. That was my old blog.
I would have thought that, too, but he wasn't drunk. It was the first bar he'd been to that night, he was on his first drink, and he wasn't drunk. Ugh. Boys are so frustrating. Thanks for the response though.
Dear girl, please keep in mind that all guys usually have some angle, that they are playing.
Ok here is one for ya! My last boyfriend and I split up because he thought I was to sexual and wanted sex to much! Do you think he is gay?
OMG! You mean that women like yourself actually exist. ( I am high-fiving myself at this moment)This is like the time I found out that Santa Claus was real.
As a typical but somewhat abnormal guy, I have to tell you that sex and thoughts of sex are what fuels us guys. Of course he was gay!
Just kidding, guys use that as an excuse for a couple of reasons. It can be a cover up for a low sex drive, or performance anxiety, both of which can be fixed with testosterone shots and viagra, or door #2. This is a better excuse than having to tell you that he is not into you.
Behind door #3 is the chance that he may be getting some elsewhere, which can be remedied with a blow to the back of his head with a blunt object. He may not remember who you are afterwards, but chances are that he won't stray.
And yes, there is the outside chance that he likes closets. But the odds do not favor that idea.
OK BB here ya go... what is with a guy saying I'll call you and he never does? This is after him saying at least 3 times what an amazing time he had! And No, I didn't sleep with him!
Unfortunately guys will say anything. I know this sounds weird, but his amazing time may not be the same as yours. Sounds like he may have other irons in the fire. I answered a similar question about ten comments back, if you want to check it out. It's hard to say without knowing more about the date. Some guys think that if they spring for dinner or drinks and don't get laid the first night, then a second date is not worth the effort.
Hi,
I was just looking around the net for web sites related to relationship compatibility and came across your blog. I was going to add a blog to my site, for relationship compatibility and of course other related material, but I'm not sure if it would work.
I'm a bit worried about getting un-wanted 'rude' posts rather than ones related to relationship compatibility on my site...... perhaps I just try it out - then you can come and post on it :)
Take care
Stewart
Hello badgerbob, this is an exciting blog here!
You may like to checkout long distance relationship site/blog.
101 Ways to Build Happy, Lasting Relationships at long distance relationship - RelationshipAdviceGuide.com stuff.
Lighten Up :Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious.
Your blog is worth a visit.
You may like to checkout relationship advice site/blog.
101 Ways to Build Happy, Lasting Relationships at relationship advice - RelationshipAdviceGuide.com site.
Dinner by the Fire :Order in some of your favorite food, open a bottle of fine wine, light some candles.
Hey badgerbob, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
I have a relationship problem site/blog.
101 Ways to Build Happy, Lasting Relationships at relationship problem - RelationshipAdviceGuide.com.
Realistic Expectations :No matter how wonderful and flawless your mate seems, no one is perfect.
Cool!!! What inspire you to create such a wonderful blog!!!
Blogs are great for information sharing.
I have a people relationship dating site/blog.
101 Ways to Build Happy, Lasting Relationships at people relationship dating - RelationshipAdviceGuide.com.
Multilingual : English | Chinese Simplified | Chinese Traditional | Dutch | French | German | Greek | Italian | Japanese | Korean | Portuguese | Russian | Spanish
Make the Women Feel Good : Just like men, woman love feeling good about themselves.
Hello badgerbob, this is an exciting blog here!
You may like to checkout long distance relationship site/blog.
101 Ways to Build Happy, Lasting Relationships at long distance relationship - RelationshipAdviceGuide.com stuff.
Multilingual : English | Chinese Simplified | Chinese Traditional | Dutch | French | German | Greek | Italian | Japanese | Korean | Portuguese | Russian | Spanish
Lighten Up : Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious.
long distance relationship 101 Ways to Build Happy, Lasting Relationships.
Multilingual : English - Chinese Simplified - Chinese Traditional - Dutch - French - German - Greek - Italian - Japanese - Korean - Portuguese - Russian - Spanish
Be Flexible : There will be times when your mate is right and times when you are right. long distance relationship
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