Monday, August 22, 2005

Dogs

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker.To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. "T-Square, do your stuff." T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff." Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Beaker, do your stuff." Beaker got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was great.Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your dog do?"The Government Worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker's Compensation and went home on sick leave.

9 comments:

babyjewels said...

hysterical. On one of the children's stations, there is a spot where they have different kids show what tricks their dog can do. At the end, they ask "what can your dog do?" My son always says to the TV "walk"

Anonymous said...

I'd like to feed babyjewels and lisab to my dog.

Anonymous said...

Hi BadgerBob, I found your site from the comment you left on "O";s site about not telling her Mom. First I love your jokes so I'm going to read your site. I was surprised that Men agreed and it seemed as though quite a few did but Mom's can continue to wreak havoc on one's life - even the best of them. I don't know why they do as I am not a Mom but truly I was one that said DO NOT TELL. We have enough confrontation in our lives just as daily course to bring your Mom into your thoughts would just really serve no purpose. Now the real part of me would like to say BadgerBob is right Tell Your Mom where to get off but with Christmas and thanksgiving and all I vote for NEVER tell!!!!!!!! Your site is great later when I have time I am going to read through it more but I loved this last joke and it's always good to have a joke in your pocket!!!!!

badgerbob said...

Anon, the whole theme of her post was how she was hesitant to tell her mom about her blog. But later she contradicted herself by slipping this statement in...
"I've been handling my mercurial mother for years, I'm the leading expert in managing her temper upon my committing worse sins than writing on the internet."...
I am not saying tell your mom where to get off. I happen to have the greatest respect for moms, and know that some can be very difficult. I just found it surprising that none of her readers,of which the majority claim to be educated professionals, picked up on this. Especially the other lawyers.
Thanks for the compliments.

Anonymous said...

A mercurial mother....too funny bob. I will have to remember that line.

badgerbob said...

p detty,you will have to thank opinionista for that one.

badgerbob said...

She can be found at "opinionistas.blogspot.com

LisaBinDaCity said...

Cute one BB!

Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! »