Now that Vancouver is to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on their International Tourism Website.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: NO? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)A: No, We prefer to stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegans. Milk is illegal.
Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
10 comments:
Badgerbob, will you be posting more dirty jokes in the future?
I've also heard there is no gravity in Canada. At least that's what Dave Foley said, and I trust him...even though he's Canadian.
Nym,just for you, I will have a new one tomorrow.
Morb, would you like to buy some tundra?
Is there alcohol in tundra?
No,but there is an abundance of oil and natural gas.
Oil? Natural gas? What the hell is anyone supposed to do with that shit?
Wax, have you been smoking pot again?
Morb,that shit is used as fuel, to run the distillery, which pumps out the bottles of poison , that help keep your liver pickled. Would you prefer we cut down more trees, for wood?
Actually , I am sure that you could care less.
Actually, I could care less.
Wax, will you be attending the hippo races, or a Vienna Boy's Choir concert?
Waxy, I think you have me confused with my cousin, Randybadger.
Willow, I had heard that you ran off with morbid.(Ok, so I may have started that rumor. Whatever.)
My question to you is why are you back?
What? You missed my quick wit and rodent charm?
I knew it was just a matter of time.
Excellent, love it! »
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