Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Gone To Hell

One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair he had his first meeting with a demon.
The demon asked, " why so glum?"
The guy responded, " What do you think? I'm in Hell "
"Hell's not so bad, " The Demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
" Sure" the man said, "I love to drink."
" Well you're gonna love mondays. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more! "
The guy is astounded. " Damn, that sounds great. "
" You a smoker?" the demon asked.
"You better believe it!"
" You're gonna love Tuesday's. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! If you get cancer, no biggie you're already dead, remember? "
" Wow, the guy said, that's awesome! "
The demon continued. " I bet you like to gamble."
" Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."
" Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?"
The guy said, " are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean....."
" That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, so who cares!"
"Wow" the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"
The Demon said, " you gay?"
"No"
"Oooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!"

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, you can't win them all.

I wonder what's for Saturdays and Sundays...

NewYorkMoments said...

How does he know he doesn't like it if he's never tried it?

morbid misanthrope said...

I don't recall any of that in The Divine Comedy. Perhaps Dante left it out on purpose.

Anonymous said...

I like it! Good job. Go on.
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