A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed.. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"
"The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."
5 comments:
More bird-related humor? I like it.
By the way, when Jesus appears to me, he usually takes the form of Johan Anderberg from the band Deranged, beating Mohammad over the head with Krishna.
That's pretty cool. I mean, have you seen the video for "Killing Spree" by Deranged? Anderberg kicks ass.
Now this one really sent a chill down my spine when I heard about the Rottweiler named Jesus. Man, it is worse than if JESES was watching you!
Is this bird Puerto Rican?
morbid, I am sure it's great, but I prefer to go on my own killing spree, and have recently purchase a dvd recorder for just this purpose. I have selected several prime anthills for this, and after tossing a few grasshoppers into the nests, to fire the ants into a killing frenzy, I will descend upon them with lightning speed, and unleash an attack of such magnitude, that the fear will spread through the local colonies, and in the future, this badger's name will be spoken in whispers.
Bayi, if you want shivers sent down your spine, I could introduce you to a few inbred hillbillies, with who I am aquainted.
They look like props for a horror movie. I believe they are cousins of willow.
Nym, I believe he is from the Isle of Dickie.
Willow, isn't Ralph one of those inbred hillbilly cousins of yours, who only looks like a rottweiler?
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