A Few Facts

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.And furthermore ....

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "FULL BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
4. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
5. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She is in a "CHEMICALLY ALTERED STATE"
6. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
7. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
8. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
9. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" ~ He has a developed "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" ~ He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" ~ He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" ~ He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" ~ He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
6. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" ~ He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
7. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" ~ He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
8. He is not "HORNY" ~ He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
9. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants ~ It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."