A Politically Correct Christmas

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, secular practices of your choice, or with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006 of the common era, but not without due respect for the calendarsof choice of other cultures, nor without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, IQ, chronological status, mental deficiencies, religious faith, or sexual preference or practices of the wishee.By accepting this greeting, you are agreeing to these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishers.This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual applicationof good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishers. All taxes are the responsibility of the wishee, and the decision of a panel of arbitrators is final in the event of a dispute. In spite of being advised that the above small print should be included, we will content ourselves with:Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!