Wednesday, January 11, 2006

The Perfect Chain Letter

At last !! A decent chain letter as opposed to normal chain letters/pyramid schemes, this one costs nothing, and you can only win. Simply send this e-mail to 9 of your male friends.

INSTRUCTIONS:
anesthetize your wife, and put her in a large carton, (don't forget some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top of your list.
Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and you will receive 823,542 women through the mail.
Statistically, among those women, will be at least:
0.5 Miss Worlds
2.5 Models
463 Wild nymphos
3,234 Good-looking nymphos
20,198 Who enjoy multiple orgasms
40,198 Bi-sexual women.
In total, that is 64,294 women who are simply hornier, less inhibited, and tastier than the grumpy old bag you mailed off.
And, best of all, your original package is guaranteed not to be one of those that come back to you.

DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN LETTER!
One guy for example who sent the letter to only 5 instead of 9 of his friends got his original girlfriend back, still in the old dressing gown he sent her off in, with the same old migraine attack, and the accusatorial _expression on her face.
On the same day, the international supermodel he'd been living with since he sent off his old girlfriend moved out to live with his best friend (to whom he had not sent the chain letter).
While I am sending this letter, the guy that is in 6th place above me has already received 837 women and is lying in hospital suffering from exhaustion.
Outside his ward are 452 more packages.

YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS E-MAIL.

This is a unique opportunity to achieve a totally satisfying sex life. No expensive meals out, no lengthy conversations about trivialities (that only interest women). No obligations, no grumpy mother-in-law, and no unpleasant surprises like marriage or engagement.
Do not hesitate........ send this letter today to 9 of your best friends.

PS. - Even when you have no girlfriend, you can send your vacuum cleaner; none of the other women that arrives will know how to use it.
PPS. - This letter can also be copied to women you know so that they can prepare themselves for the great adventure that they may soon undertake

10 comments:

NewYorkMoments said...

What happens if I mail my vacuum cleaner?

badgerbob said...

It may fall into the hands of some random male, who will definately not know how to use it.

morbid misanthrope said...

I don't have a wife or a girlfriend, but I'll send you this one girl I know who just got out of prison/rehab in exchange for a bottle of whiskey or an unusually strong bottle of cold medication.

drunkbh said...

I'm with NYM. I say the women should send off their vacuums.

With all the men that I will get sent back, I will just have them pick the dirt off the floor with their fingers.

badgerbob said...

Morb, how about some sudafed You could whip yourself up a batch of crank.

Bh, don't you mean have them lick the floor clean?

drunkbh said...

OOOOoooOO.... Thanks for the idea.

NewYorkMoments said...

Well, I dont' know how to use a vacuum either. I thought that's men were for... And while I'm at it, I think I'll send my iron along with it.

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