Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Wrigley's

A Scotsman was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an English tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Scotsman politely ignored the Englishman, who, nevertheless, tarted up a conversation.
The Englishman snapped his gum and said, "You Scots folk eat the whole bread?"
The Scot frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."
The Englishman blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In England, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Scotland." The Englishman had a smirk on his face.
The Scotsman listened in silence.
The Englishman persisted. "Do you eat jam with the bread?"
Sighing, the Scot replied, "Of course."
Cracking his gum between his teeth, the Englishman said, "We don't. In England, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell to Scotland."
The Scot then asked, "Do you have sex in England?"
The Englishman smiled and said, "Why of course we do."
The Scotsman leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
"We throw them away, of course."
Now it was the Scots turn to smile. "We don't. In Scotland, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to England. Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?"

7 comments:

NewYorkMoments said...

Was this Scot wearing a dress?

morbid misanthrope said...

Never fuck with a Scotsman. He could end up being the immortal Duncon McLeod of the Clan McLeod.

badgerbob said...

Or he could be your local kilt-wearing badger.

NewYorkMoments said...

Badgerbob! You wear kilts? But doesn't your huge badgersausage hand down to the ground? Someone could step on it.

badgerbob said...

Yes. And on occasion, I have actually tripped over it my ownself. A very painful experience.

BD said...

Immense, guffy mugs are always trying (as they might) to outdo us...

badgerbob said...

Yes