The crooked Badger with his buddy, "Stick."
Friday, June 29, 2007
Be On The Alert!
There has been a stinky badger sighting in the Maritimes. An alert has gone out since the family cat disappeared and a big pile of poop (the Sneaky Badger calling card) was left at the scene. Anyone who has seen this hideous creature should load their shotgun and blow his badger ass to smithereens.
The crooked Badger with his buddy, "Stick."
The crooked Badger with his buddy, "Stick."
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10 comments:
I think I used to be in a band with that guy ... that guy with the hedge clippers, not the skinny one.
Nice to see you're still alive, willow--as alive as a tree can be, anyway. Your absence led me to believe you had been turned into toothpicks and pool sticks by a French-Canadian lumberjack named Jacques.
Hey Morb, that guy with the hedge clippers is an idiot while the skinny guy is just plain dumb.
I had no choice but to flee from the relentless stink of Badger Bob and his urine stained underwear. His constant stalking and spitting, his inbred habit of picking his nose and scratching his ass in public, and the weird way the light shone through the hole in his head... all drove me to leave the blogging world.
That is until Wednesday when he tracked me down and begged me to do this guest post. After promising me that I could kick him in the nuts a few times, and in the head; I agreed.
I did run across a French-Canadian lumberjack named Jacques and left him for roadkill. Does that count?
Willow, I am sure that you are back to snoring loudly, outside of Joe's Warehouse,in the gutter, as I found you. What buffoon did you get to pose for that picture? What's next, a scarecrow?
So much for guest posting.
Morbid, for all we know, that stick man may actually be Willow.
How come "stick" isn't wearing any pants?
willow -- I usually charge three dollars and a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 to do a guest post, but violence works just as well.
badgerbob -- That stick man is hardly a tree, though, is it? I do so detest lies in advertising (even though that's how I makes me livin').
newyorkmoments: Stick, because of Badgerboobs bad influence, has decided to go commando. I don't think that's a bright idea with Badgerboob sitting beside him holding big clippers in his meaty paws, but there's nothing as stubborn as a stick with no underwear.
Morbid: The stick man is nothing but a witch and a ho.
I created him from a broken hoe and a broomstick so that Badgerbob would have a friend to hang around with and would leave me alone. Because he's as dumb as a board and Badgerbob is an idiot, they became good friends.
I'm happy to report that Badgerbob was nabbed yesterday by a Traffic Control Officer, for leaving a big pile of poop in the middle of an intersection; and was booted back over the border and into the U.S. The last I saw, he was picking his stinky self up off the ground and scurrying through the underbush back home.
Smell ya later BadgerBob!!!
The story of the stick man and badgerbob could be told most eloquently in one of those Country Western ballads that go on forever. It would be like Toby Keith singing Beowulf.
Well I see that I created a monster in Willow.
On second thought, I can't take credit for that, because I believe willow comes by it naturally.
zzzz
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