Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Cows

An Alberta cowboy was over seeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of a cloud of dust towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy "If I tell you how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA Satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg Germany. Within seconds, he retrieves an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODCB connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his high-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on in amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second, and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You work for the Canadian Government," says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the young man, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here, even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for giving me an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows. This is a flock of sheep.
Now give me back my dog."

4 comments:

morbid misanthrope said...

That is a multi-layered joke. It's funny on a number of levels, kind of like an onion. Yes, I think onions are hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Whoever he's working for, this guy is a CONsultant. Those who often miss the fundamentals but can furnish lots of embellishments to cover their tracks, like lawyers covering their tracks with legalese.

But this one didn't get away. He got greedy and took a dog (arrgggh!) for a sheep! *LOL*

You win some, you lose some. :)

BD said...

Poor Canadians...

NewYorkMoments said...

Why didn't he just go to a petstore?