I recently picked a new doctor.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my previous doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
" No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit?"
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8 comments:
That's bullshit. Everyone knows that badgers gamble, drive fast cars and have lots of sex.
Nym, I have to confess.
You are so right.
I also cuss and spit.
And that's what makes you such a sexy badger.
I could been fooled. I thought the doctor was a lawyer in disguise! :)
Nym, this sexy dirty stinkin badger thanks you for your kind compliment, and salutes you.
Bottoms up...
Bayi, I am getting that tingling sensation down my misshapen furry spine, that thou hast had a bad run-in with a scurvy purveyor of law.
Willow, just for the record, I've always been considered and out-patient.
This doctor I know bet me $100 I won't make it to 25. What an asshole. I don't know how he thinks I'm going to pay him when I'm dead.
Willow, it refreshing to know that you see me for who I really am, and that you care enough about me to bring it to the attention of others. My sincerest thankyou!
NYm, do you have your own designer straight-jacket?
Morb, he's probably married to a lawyer, who will get it out of your estate, or from your "empty-whiskey-bottles-of-the -world" collection.
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