Are you sick and tired of making the same resolutions year after year, that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here is a list of my top ten resolutions, that you can use as a starting point:
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
4. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
5. Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
6. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
7. Eat only cloned meat.
8. Create loose ends.
9. Get further in debt.
10. Break at least one traffic law.
11. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.
12. Wait around for opportunity.
13. Focus on the faults of others
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It takes one to spot one.
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