Yesterday, I was buying a large bag of dry food and was standing in the line at the register.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that, No...., I was starting a Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.
The lady was flabbergasted, gave me an incredibly evil look , and stormed out of the shop, while the guy behind her looked like he was having a heart attack, from laughing so hard .
Stupid lady..........why else would I buy dog food???
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7 comments:
Well, you could have had a cat with an identity crisis, i.e., species confusion.
that's so mean - scaring an old lady like that!
^_^
Did the guy try the diet so he could lick his own balls?
Morb, like when male dogs start humping each other?
Neko,it seemed more humane than a baseball bat to the old noggin.
Nym, in my humble opinion, anyone who licks his own balls, deserves to be hit by a car, or anything else that is capable of causing blunt force trauma.
Besides, wouldn't that be his girlfriend's job?
i lurk always,,, and probably never comment,, but you kicked my ass with this one!!!!i love it.....
Lick him, kick him, or hit him with a car...a choice women make on a daily basis.
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